Find Calm in Uncertain Times

Have you ever felt like the quicksand of life is pulling you under, and no amount of planning can steady your footing? That’s where I am right now. Instead of offering a neatly packaged ‘here’s how I found balance’ story, I’m sharing the raw, messy ways I’ve been able to find calm in uncertain times—and I hope they help you, too.

I’m a proactive person who, by nature, loves to plan. The uncertainty of our current situation means I can’t really lay out a solid plan and that kind of sends me into a bit of a daily panic that I’m constantly having to surrender to the Lord.

Here are some things that have actually been helping me to get calm, focused and stay at least somewhat productive.

I don’t do all of these every day. I simply don’t have the bandwidth to produce that sort of self discipline right now. But I’ve learned to cut myself a little slack and just do what I can each day. I hope something on my list will help you if you are ever going through challenging times in your life.

6 Practical Steps to Stay Grounded When Life Feels Unpredictable

1. A Brain Dump : Clearing Mental Clutter

When my mind feels like a tangled mess, I grab a notebook and let every worry spill out—no order, no judgment. This stream-of-consciousness writing often reveals irrational fears I can release. This has been surprisingly helpful in clearing my mental clutter. It also sometimes points out to me any worries or concerns that are irrational or unfounded and therefore should be eliminated from my thinking. I also randomly journal sometimes but nothing consistent.

2. Movement : Finding Peace

Walking is really easy to do here in the city with so many beautiful, quiet places to walk. Some days, I pop in my earbuds to listen to an uplifting podcast, a sermon, or praise music that lifts my spirit. Other times, I just walk and talk with God, letting my worries spill out.

Walking activates our parasympathetic nervous system (our “rest and digest” response). 30 minutes and more of walking can shrink our amygdala stress response (the fear and stress center of the brain). It can make positive changes in your nervous system and your response to stress.

Most mornings, I roll out my yoga mat on the loggia for a simple 10-minute yoga flow. Nothing intense—just slow stretches and wake-up movements to ease into the day. When I skip this, I notice I’m less patient and more stressed. This small routine helps me start the day grounded. If yoga’s new to you, here’s an easy flow to get you started.

3. Ashwagandha: Adaptogen to Reduce Stress

Who knew that getting HRT would be so difficult in Europe?(read more about our move here) Perhaps it’s just because I don’t know the system, but it seems that not many women are on systemic HRT and doctors have not wanted to prescribe it. SO- I’m currently off HRT and unfortunately my symptoms began to return almost immediately.

After researching I decided to try Ashwagandha because it’s helped a lot of women, has been used for thousands of years and it’s easy for me to get here.

I’m happy to say it has helped. Specifically with stress, anxiety, cognitive function and sleep. I take it twice a day along with magnesium and don’t have night sweats or hot flashes. So, until I can get back to the US this is what I’m going to stick with. It doesn’t provide the long term protective benefits of estrogen, but at least it’s helping to control the majority of symptoms.

4. Cooking Dinner: Providing Nourishment

I never expected cooking dinner to become a nightly anchor but I’ve found a kind of calm in preparing a meal for my family each night. I’m cooking for adults who have been on their own for years and all cook their own meals (except Troy, lol). But I find something rewarding about planning and providing a good meal each night.

I don’t know if it’s because I KNOW it’s helpful or because I feel good providing delicious and nutritious food for my family or what the actual reason is, but I’ve come to enjoy planning and concentrating on this simple task each day. I can always find something delicious to cook from Half Baked Harvest! It’s also nice that at least one son if not both will usually end up in the kitchen to chat and help with some chopping or other prep.

5. Designing a Small Space: A Creative Outlet

I can be easily overwhelmed right now so I pick one small space to brighten up each day. Sometimes it’s using freshly picked flowers and rearranging candles, or maybe its scrubbing an area scrupulously clean before setting it back in order. Just airing out the linens in the sun and setting the bedroom in order does wonders! And other times it’s just cleaning the glass and arranging the window space.

This helps me to tap into my creativity and feel that pleasure without being overwhelmed. It’s a small but significant thing. To go along with that, I refuse to let my mind focus on “everything else”. I refuse to focus on the floors that need washing or the ever present pile of dishes in the sink. I will get to them- and I always do- but theres no point in dragging myself down. Additionally, trying to put myself on a rigid schedule like I would happily do when life is more secure and settled just isn’t something that’s going to help me right now.

6. The Doomsday List: Taming Fears with Truth

When my mind spirals with worst-case scenarios, I turn to what I call the Doomsday List. It’s simple but powerful: I made a form to encourage myself to actually do this. On the left, I pour out every fear—big or small—without judgment. On the right, I force myself to write the actual reality and likelihood of each fear.

This exercise helps me see that most worries are far less daunting than they seem, bringing a sense of calm when life feels uncertain. Reading them out loud shifts my perspective—and I can focus on what I could control.

I made a form like the one I use that you are welcome to download and print out to begin practicing how to tame your fears and focus on the things that you can actually control. You can download it for free below.

There is a lot more I could add to this list that can also help to find calm in uncertain times but I feel like you’ve heard them all before: Journaling, prayer (and more prayer!), meditation, etc.

Life’s uncertainties can feel overwhelming, but I’m learning that small steps can light the way through our dark seasons. I hope these ideas spark a bit of calm for you, just as they’ve been a lifeline for me. I’d love to hear what helps you find peace when life feels unsteady—drop your thoughts in the comments below. Here’s to navigating the quicksand over 40, one step at a time.