When Life Gets Off Track; Getting Your Crap Back Together Over 40

Did you think I’d been eaten by a mountain lion?

Don’t laugh- that’s an actual possibility out here in the backwoods of Montana! Y’all- they traverse by our house on a regular basis. But no. No, I decided that the best way to end 2017 and begin 2018 was flat on my back in bed with the flu. So yeah- that was awesome.

But- Happy New Year, lovelies!

When Life Gets Off Track

I’ll tell you what- there’s nothing that will really make you take stock of your self-care (or lack thereof) like being deathly ill for a week! My face was so sallow and pale, it was a greenish white. Like the belly of a fish. Have you ever seen a fishes belly? That may not be a common analogy so let’s move on.

When I DID get back to my computer, I had a host of IT and website issues that had to be addressed.Web issues are pretty much the bane of my existence. There must be some dark, tragic life incident that makes a person decide to make their career in IT. If that’s you, I hope you are paid handsomely for your skills.

AND- we got a touch of snow out here. Actually, it snows almost every day. Check it out, there’s audio:

Also, my husband has taken on a new start-up company. Do you know what that means? That means I get to be the unpaid help. The “Assistant to the CEO”.  The “Administrative Assistant”. Basically, I’m a freakin’ multitasking ninja who has to set up all the travel, do all the admin, take over the social media accounts for the business and still try to love this man that I am married to.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been in business with your spouse. Solidarity, sistas…..solidarity.

But- you know, a girls gotta eat (and get her nails done, and go to the salon and get clothes, shoes and cosmetics) so I’m slaving away. I’d also really like to see this latest venture be wildly successful. Because of my new duties, my new blog camera is pretty much in the bag now, so……..silver lining.

Until I got sick, I really hadn’t realized what a slacker I’d become in taking care of myself. I can’t believe how fast my tiny decisions each day snowballed into actually neglecting my health! I mean seriously- that escalated quickly!

Life gets off track

*I Stopped drinking a gallon of water a day. Instead, I was having more cups of coffee and drinking more wine at night. It was NOT making me more awesome.

*I Stopped meal planning. I’d be working at the computer and look up and* boom*- it’s lunchtime. I’d just grab whatever was the fastest and get right back to my desk. My nutrition was all over the map in a bad way and my energy levels had tanked.

*I Stopped doing yoga every damn day. This is a big one. I cannot believe how quickly my joints started stiffening and I started getting little aches and pains, etc. Do the yoga. Every Damn Day.

*I Stopped weight training. Again- this is HUGE. Even though I weigh the exact same, I’ve lost so much muscle mass and obviously traded it for fat. Yay. Not a good look. My posture really suffered too.

*I Stopped taking my vitamins. I have searched the world over for the very best vitamins, minerals, and supplements that actually make a difference in my physical and mental well being. It would be nice if I’d actually take the damn things each day. (I mean, what the hell y’all? What was my problem?)

*I Stopped sleeping well. In no small part due to the above neglect, but also because of the difference in the number of sunlight hours here in Montana. My sleeping schedule was completely screwed.

So that’s it. That’s my sad, cautionary tale to begin the New Year.

The moral of which is: “Don’t treat your body like crap.” That’s not actually a moral, but seriously- don’t treat your body like crap.

Can you relate to any of this?

I’ve made some small changes to get myself back on my game.

Getting My Crap Back Together

*I got a water bottle. I know that’s very anticlimactic, but getting a dedicated water bottle that I have with me all the time, has helped me get back to drinking water all day. I’m almost back up to a gallon a day. I feel so much better- it’s almost like your body NEEDS water or something. <eyeroll>.

*Sundays are for meal planning. I’ll do a newer post on this,(here’s an older one) but I plan out my meals and prep our lunches and snacks for the week.

*Yoga Every Damn Day. I’ve started out really small- just a few minutes a day. And I’m eyeing a yoga place in town to try out.

*Our house has no space for a gym so we’ve gone straight up ghetto and we’re sweating it out in the garage. This is not easy, my friends. It’s frickin’ cold in Montana. But we’re out there and we’re pumpin’ iron- and it feels good. Notsomuch the next day, but it feels good to use my muscles again. It also helps my husband and I not to kill each other now that we are working so closely together all day. Which is great, because I like being married.

*I put an alarm on my phone to remind me to take the damn vitamins! I’ll talk more about what I’m actually taking in another post, but I talk some about them here. The difference is amazing.

*I try to go to bed at the same time each night and I make myself get up at the same time each morning…..even though there’s no sun. Y’all- there’s NO sun. But my body is finally adjusting and my sleep patterns are becoming more normal.

What do you think? Do you struggle with any of these things? These are not monumental changes I’ve made, but the difference they make in my energy levels and overall well being are major. Have you made any small changes that make a difference for you this year?

Tell me in the comments and thanks from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me here!

You may also like reading about embracing change here.


Melissa is an unrepentant shoe hoarder who is obsessed with travel, wine, good food and her family. (Not necessarily in that order!)

Find me on: Web | Instagram | Facebook


  1. Sarah
    January 5, 2018 / 8:41 pm

    Worked running the husband’s biz for 15 years straighIt with 11 (moody female employees) , while also full-time mom, choir director, and yoga instructor. I HEAR YA. Not gonna lie, it is not the most encouraging influence on a marriage, even when you get along amazingly well… good luck with that.
    But indeed, the healthier one is, and the better one feels going into this “challenge” the better everything works out down the line.

    • melissa
      January 6, 2018 / 9:36 am

      So true Sarah! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

  2. January 6, 2018 / 1:09 am

    First, happy new year! Second, I hope you feel better real soon and last, well, look at the bright side. It only gets better for you!😂😂😂😂😂

    • melissa
      January 6, 2018 / 9:34 am

      Thanks Nancy! You are SO right, lol! I even had to miss a NYE party that I was SO looking forward to. Gah. Oh well, I’m back among the living and ready to get some sh*z done!
      ~Melissa xx

  3. January 6, 2018 / 5:30 am

    Ohhhh i can relate to pretty much all of these! I dont work with my husband, but I work from home, and he is off work while under going his chemo treatment, so we see far more of each other! I have really let my health go last year, (due to being preoccupied with hubbys illness) I wasnt eating right, I wasnt doing yoga, I was getting far too little sleep. This resulted in me being incredibly unwell, 3 times in 5 weeks, the latest bought of illness being so far 9 days (I have flu) I know I have to make the changes. An unhealthy me is no use to anyone! Thanks for sharing xx

    • melissa
      January 6, 2018 / 9:33 am

      Oh Kerry! I hope you feel better soon. I am truly a horrible sick person. My husband was so good about taking care of me and then on about day 4 he looked at me and said, “OK You need to hurry up and feel better. Things are falling apart around here.” LOL I am surprised by how my tiny decisions each day piled up so quickly into being unhealthy. Making little changes, and sticking with those seem to be better for the long haul, rather than trying to do some major life overhaul that usually ends up falling flat. Every little bit helps. Take care of yourself and heal and feel better friend. I am finally back among the living- took a solid seven days. Now I’m motivated! Hugs and healing vibes headed your way!

  4. Dolores Harmon Doxey
    January 6, 2018 / 9:24 am

    First I want to say, I just love reading your site because you make it so interesting and some things make me laugh out loud. I know about the vitamins. If I don’t take them every day (14) of them than I can really tell the 2nd day of missing them. I have no energy and want to just stay in bed. I do want to see what you take so I will have to read on here when you list it. I know there is a place on this site I can click on but right now I better go take my vitamins for today. Keep the good work up Melissa.

    • melissa
      January 10, 2018 / 10:15 am

      Thank you so much for the kind words, Aunt Dolores!
      ~Love Melissa

  5. January 7, 2018 / 3:06 pm

    I missed reading your blog, so I’m pleased you are BACK in ACTION! I’m also keen to read your detailed vitamins post.

    I don’t work WITH my husband (although I used to, but that is before we were dating or married) but we both work from home nowadays. I find it a real challenge because what do you talk about when you go out? You’ve already shared the whole damn day together, and know every detail of what went on. Then you go on holiday and you’re together 24/7 all over again. I’m itching for one of us to get a job outside the home, frankly. It is strain. Make sure you carve out plenty of YOU time, or you get sucked into being a WE only.

    Being back home in the US for a couple of weeks meant I wasn’t always as in control of the kitchen, my water habits, and my food as I’d like and I can already see it reflected on my skin. I’m so pleased to be home and back in my groove. It is so easy to let things slip a little at a time. I’m glad you’re back on track and feeling good.

    Love and Happy New Year to you! xxx

    • melissa
      January 10, 2018 / 10:20 am

      Lisa, that is such good advice! My husband and I have spent so much time apart in the past, when he was constantly being deployed, so this is really different for both of us. In a way, it feels like we are making up for lost time. Our move has helped too, I think, because everything is new to both of us and we can lean on each other to make life easier. But -yeah….the day-to-day. And you know what WE talk about when we go out??? The business! 😀 😀 I’m so happy that you got back home for a bit! (Sorry it was like the coldest time- EVER, lol)But I know what you mean- it’s good to be back in the groove! I’m headed over to your blog because I saw that freakin amazing skirt you were wearing!!! GAH!
      ~Melissa xx

  6. January 7, 2018 / 5:58 pm

    Oh gosh I have missed you! I knew you were busy moving and settling in but oh dear the flu! I hope you are feeling better. I know about the snow. Here in McCall we get snow almost everyday in a normal year. But this year it is crazy. Not even a foot of snow and it has been melting all this week. We need it for the ski resorts! Any way, I love how you live life with gusto girl! I am a big vitamin girl and I too carry a water bottle 24/7. I am having such a time though with exercise. I keep injuring my back and having to start all over with everything. It’s a vicisous cycle, I think I am starting out slow but it feels so good I over do and then end up hardly able to move. Ugh. We head to AZ in another week for a couple of months so hope to get outside more and get back to moving! Can’t wait to hear what you do with vitamins and love all your posts. Eek I started dysport a couple of weeks ago and I think I like it. I thought I was going to age gracefully but …..

    • melissa
      January 10, 2018 / 10:28 am

      Thank you so so much, Cheryl! I am so sorry to hear about your back! That is so frustrating! I bet the warm Arizona temps will help with that. It is POURING snow as I type today and my husband is away on a business trip. Its supposed to snow for days, so it looks like I won’t be in town much this week! I love that you guys head to Arizona several times in the winter. I think that’s such a fabulous idea! Like the best of both worlds. Colorado isn’t getting any snow yet either- so weird that Pikes Peak is sitting bare at this time of the year! But boy oh boy do we have plenty here in Montana! I love the peacefulness and just how raw and wild it is out here. There is a steep learning curve- but I really love it.
      And Dysport!!! I’m going to need to know allllllllll about that! (You’re still aging gracefully- just better than the rest of us, lol!) Whatever you’re putting down, I’m picking up lady because you look so lovely!
      ~Melissa xx

  7. January 9, 2018 / 8:06 pm

    I work with my husband and my brother in our family business. I spend my life trying to stay married and maintain enough love for family holidays. Solidarity indeed! I’m bad on everything on your list but the water and vitamins. Is there something online for yoga everyday – something for creaky people? I think that’s a good place for me to start. Is there a yoga site that lets you drink wine while you yoga? 😉

    • melissa
      January 10, 2018 / 10:31 am

      Thank you Amy! And yes there are a few online yoga sites that would be great for “creaky” people, lol. I’ll do another search so I can really recommend some beginner ones. And drinking wine WHILE doing yoga may be hard but I see no reason why you wouldn’t sit down with a glass a bit AFTER doing yoga. In fact- I highly recommend it! Feeling all peaceful and Zen and then chilling out with a glass of wine? That’s my kind of evening!
      ~Melissa xx

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