Whitefish Montana and The One Thing That Will Destroy Every Relationship You Have.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here! I have lived a lot of life since my last post in Whitefish Montana and I want to take a moment to look back and to share my heart with you before getting back to our regularly scheduled program here on my blog.

During the long, cold, grey, but breathtakingly beautiful, Montana winter, the snow never seemed to stop and the sun never seemed to shine. Everyone tells you about the snow- but no one warns you that you won’t see the sun for 6 months! 

Whitefish Montana

As the snow continued to pile up and slowly make it’s way up to even the windows, my husband and I were slaving night and day on our start-up businesses. Not long after we arrived, the potential business opportunity that lured us to Montana began unraveling into an unbelievable, nightmarish scene. It quickly became crystal clear that we wanted no part of what was happening with it.

Whitefish, Montana

While our entire time in Whitefish, Montana is a story of epic proportions all its own, let me just offer up this advice from our harsh business experience:

Liars and narcissists abound in this world – pity them, pray for them, pray for the innocent victims in their paths…….and diligently protect yourself and your loved ones from them.

Thankfully unscathed, we quickly decided to move back to Colorado as soon as possible to devote our time more effectively to our businesses, which were beginning to pick up.

Just seven months after we had unlocked the house near Whitefish, Montana that looked out onto beautiful Glacier National Park, we were turning the key to lock it back up and heading back to Colorado.

Whitefish, Montana

  Even though I was so excited to move back, I struggled a lot at that point. 

In my mind I kept playing the same thoughts over and over “Is it true? DO good guys really finish last? Is success only achieved by lying, and cheating and stealing ideas?”

In my heart, I already knew the answer to that question. I’m the daughter of an honest, successful, hardworking entrepreneur. I know what that looks like. But I just couldn’t believe what we’d seen and experienced. I wanted things to be different.

Like……NOW.

  But God doesn’t work that way, does He? (And if you are not a believer- I think you will still find this relatable, so hang with me here.)

  After arriving back in Colorado, my incredible husband, as is his character, never missed a beat and he hit the ground running. I busied myself with work and our new home, trying to once again, unpack and set up our things. The same things that I’ve packed and repacked over and over again these past 6 years.

  I’m typically a positive person by nature but I began to let bitterness grow and swell up inside me over all that had transpired. And just like that…. I slipped that emotion on like a glove and wore it quite comfortably both day and night, seven days a week.

  Friends, I am here to tell you that the one thing that will destroy every relationship you have, is bitterness.

To allow bitterness to live in your heart will destroy your marriage, it will destroy your relationship with your children and it will ripple out from that center and affect every relationship you have until it leaves you a lonely shell of a human being.

Moving back to Colorado from Whitefish, Montana

  Bitterness and discontent sneak in like thieves and are most likely introduced to you by their soul mate, “comparison”. When we begin to compare ourselves to others and allow certain thoughts to permeate our minds and play on repeat, we cheat ourselves of the joy of our own lives.  And oh how the current culture of social media wants you to warmly embrace comparison!

Here are some examples of what bitterness looks like when lived out in daily life:

*Comparing your life and/or circumstances or to the lives/circumstances of others.

*Taking joy in the misfortunes of others.

*Casting harsh judgment and running down other people in their ideas or efforts.

*Many of your conversations are about the lives of others in a disparaging way.

*Feeling like you deserve more than you are getting.

*Feeling that your situation is worse than someone else’s.

*Belittling your spouse.

*Belittling your children and talking down to/about them.

*Overall lacking in joy. 

When I could step back and take a birds-eye view of my journey so far, I began to realize, that it was at the very moment that I felt myself becoming bitter or discontent, that I needed to just……… soften. This has been difficult and it’s definitely not second nature for me. But I’ve come to see that when I feel the first start of bitterness –  I need to step away and see MYSELF for who *I* really am and remember that the God of all creation loves me anyway. And it’s because of this, that I can work to grant grace toward others in my life. Easier said than done, for sure! But it’s a goal worth working toward and it truly brings amazing joy.

As I twisted and turned, the Lord just held me in His open hand and worked on my heart.

I began to feel such deep shame that I had ignored and tossed aside the blessings of a good God. I had so much to be thankful for! To be honest though, at first, trying to be grateful and thankful felt like I was just going through the motions, but as God continued to soften my heart, my prayers eventually became more real and heartfelt. As they did, my bitterness began to melt away and I began to feel real joy again. The relationships that were strained were easily mended and I no longer wasted even a second of my time looking backward. My heart had changed. I was never meant to carry those burdens or the poison of those thoughts, and I began to lay them down.

Moving to Colorado from Whitefish, Montana

  **Let me say right here that this post is absolutely not meant for anyone in an abusive relationship of ANY kind. If that is you, know that you are loved and precious to God and He wants the very best for you. Be completely relentless in seeking help to get out of that relationship as quickly as possible.**

If you are going through a hard time right now, I hope that you will be encouraged to focus on what is going RIGHT in your life.

The struggle is part of the journey, so find the things in the midst of it to be thankful for.

Of course, protect yourself from those who mean you harm, but don’t let bitterness rob you of joy in your life and destroy your relationships. Lift up others even when you yourself are the one in need of being lifted. Just a kind word to someone else not only helps them, but it helps you as well.

Moving to Colorado from Whitefish,Montana

In updating you further with our lives, there is a lot going RIGHT.

We’ve moved into an incredibly beautiful home, happily back in sunny Colorado! (Can’t wait to give you a house tour!) We are working hard and our businesses are seeing success- so much so, that I can get back to my blog! I made some genuine friendships in Montana that I totally cherish. My mom, who has had such a frightening and difficult time health-wise, is finally on the road to total recovery. All three of our kids have been in Colorado for a few months and we’ve had some much needed and much-enjoyed family time together. My husband and I have spent more time together over the past year than we have in our entire marriage combined and we have discovered that we still really dig each other.

And all of that is pretty priceless.

New home in Colorado

The deck of our new home in Colorado.

Thank you so much to everyone who emailed and messaged me during my hiatus. Your care and concern is one of the things that helped push me back out into the open and I am incredibly grateful for each of you.

I’ll be back to my typical posts and I have a laundry list of topics that I am SO excited to talk to you about!

And in case you were wondering……….

Moving from Whitefish, Montana

Winston is elated to be back home. 🙂

Linking up at Not Dressed As Lamb.

Are you ready to make your life over 40 a little easier?

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8 Comments

  1. October 20, 2018 / 11:49 am

    What a JOY to have you back, Melissa! Reading the negative section of your post so reminded me of a job I had in my 20s, working for the most awful lying evil man I’ve ever met. It shakes you; it changes who you ARE because you can’t be WHO YOU USUALLY ARE with these kind of people. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but thank you for sharing your wisdom. I know it will help someone, and you’ve learned a lot about yourself as well, no doubt.

    What a delight to read you’re back in Colorado and have your children (including Winston) around you. I can’t wait to see what you’re gonna serve up now that you’re back and firing on all cylinders again. Love to you xxxx

    • melissa
      Author
      October 22, 2018 / 11:06 am

      Thanks so much Lisa! It feels really, really good to be back here. And you are so right, dealing with people like that really does change you or at least change your outlook. I am definitely walking away much wiser after the experience. As far as the blog goes, I feel like its been forever and like I’m starting all over again! But I’m up for it and can’t wait to be diving back in (as soon as I remember my IG login info, lol). Loved your recent post on the Helen Moore brand and I currently have 3 tabs open on my computer trying to decide which ones to purchase!
      Thanks again for your sweet words.
      ~Melissa xxx

  2. Bobby Ruff
    October 20, 2018 / 1:08 pm

    God bless the BAs!

    • melissa
      Author
      October 22, 2018 / 11:06 am

      Thanks so much Bobby!

  3. Debbie
    October 20, 2018 / 5:07 pm

    I really needed this today. I was heading towards a situation tomorrow holding a lot of bitterness and resentment. I’m going to offer it up and face it with hopefully an open mind. Glad to see you back, and thank you!

  4. melissa
    Author
    October 22, 2018 / 11:09 am

    Debbie,
    Thanks so much for letting me know that this was a help to you! I hope that you were able to get through whatever situation you were facing without it affecting you negatively. Its amazing how quickly we can build up bitterness and resentment, without even realizing it! It is incredibly freeing to be able to let it go.
    Sending warm wishes,
    ~Melissa xx

  5. Hallie Schumaker
    October 23, 2018 / 6:45 am

    Wow…what a great, incredible post. As Lisa said, served as a reminder to me right this very minute of some things I’ve been holding on to that I need to free myself of. And yes, for all the not so good in the world, there is so.much.good. Keep being you, keep doing you, keep embracing your life, your family and your faith. And keep choosing to see the good. <3

  6. Dolores Harmon Doxey
    October 23, 2018 / 12:56 pm

    So glad to see you posting again. I really enjoy your stories. So glad you are back in the state you all love living in. I know Winston is happy too. Keep writing your uplifting blog. I hope someday I hope someday in the winter you all will bring Winston to VA so I can meet him. He looks like a very loving biig dog.
    Love you ,
    Aunt Dolores

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